I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We don't watch enough power rangers
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
