I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
