found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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