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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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