thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
