I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
