i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
