I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
