im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
