i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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