i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
