mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
