Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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