There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
