i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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