My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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