i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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