No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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