If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just gargled with NyQuil
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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