Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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