rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She needs sedatives and a leash
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
