I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
