i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
