So drunk its hurt
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
