Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
