Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
