fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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