why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
