Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
