I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
