omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize