No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
