Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
