Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
