Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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