They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
