Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize