Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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