Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize