My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
