who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
