dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
