I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
