Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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