Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I need to calm my uterus...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
