Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
