Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
