Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
