ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize