This girl is more easily done than said...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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