also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
