Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
