I'm jealous of your bromance
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
