just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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