I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
