i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
