what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
