im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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