is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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